Secret Agent Mama

NEW BLOG LOCATION!

2007-09-13T15:49:00.000-04:00

But, I'm keeping this one so no one steals my ultra cool nick!
SECRET AGENT MAMA
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What the Hell is Wrong With [You] Woman!

2006-12-08T23:39:00.000-05:00

I have been virtually non-stop all day long. I woke up at 7:15am to make sure the kids and I got out to Co-op, in enough time. I had to make sure they were fed (yeah, it's in the job description) as well as make sure they looked presentable. All this PLUS I had to scrape a huge layer of ice of the freakin' truck. AND...I had to get myself dressed. We were out of the house and on the road by 8:50am and I had yet to stop and get gas and some coffee. Much to my surprise we got to Co-op only five minutes late. Pretty good, if you ask me.

Co-op was delightful. I felt much better this week and not so clausterphobic. I think I was just really run down from being sick and probably should have not gone last week, but we had to. Mikey and Livey were participating in the Christmas Show and they were well enough to make it last week, but I digress. Mama and Tato made it to the show, too. I know that was special for them. After getting home, we ate lunch, and then I came up here to "rest".

I got online for a while, laid down for a while and then got this BRILLIANT idea to call my mom to help me bring some stuff upstairs from the basement to decorate. In order to do this, though, I had to clean and I have been NON-STOP since about 4:45pm. It is now 11:35pm. What the frick? Am I ...gasp... NESTING?

I still have dishes to wash, sheets to change, my room to dust and some clothes to put away. These things will be left for tomorrow, though. I'm spent. Being 9months pregnant is fun stuff, Itellyawhut!

Old Men = Funny & Cute

2006-11-29T09:49:00.000-05:00

I was pumping gas yesterday morning before I got on the skyway towards Dr. C's office and this older black man pulls in and gets out of his Caddy. At that precise moment I coughed and it really hurt my belly so I had my hand over it.

He called out, "Are you ok? Cuz I ain't know how to deliver no baby!"

I giggle and call back, "I'm fine, I just have a cold and it kills my stomach muscles when I cough. But, I assure you that water's in tact and baby's fine!"

He smiles and says, "Good to know!"

Old Ladies = Know It Alls (NOT!)

2006-11-29T09:46:00.000-05:00

Dear Old Lady Walking By Me In Walmart,

Who the fuck do you think you are and what do you think gives you the fucking right to make a snide comment to me regarding my current state? How do you know what my comfort level is? How do you know if Im ready to pop? How? Are you the all-knowing-comfort-and-pop fairie? And, while we are at it, seeing as you know EVERYTHING about ANYTHING, can you tell me what my comfort level and popability will be on December 9th? Huh. Huh. Can ya? Thought not. BITCH!

Sincerely,
She-Whom-Has-No-Patience-For-Comments-From-Old-Crotches

Thankfullness; Today and Always!

2006-11-23T10:59:00.000-05:00

I'm thankful for having the husband I do. He takes me with my faults and has made me a better person over the years. I'm thankful for his intelligence and that he pursued his dream and got it! I'm thankful that he's safe in the friendly skies and will continue to thank the Lord for that daily.

I'm thankful for the chance I have to raise children. Sometimes they drive me nuts but they are my life and I am thankful for the three children I have raised so far and the one that we will all raise together.

I'm thankful for a healthy pregnancy.

I'm thankful to see the sibling interactions that I do, as I was an only child. I'm thankful that the kids are so close and I pray for an abundance of that gratitude as they get older and mature.

I'm thankful that we have a family that loves us, unconditionally, and that will help us when we have bumps in the road as well as encourage us when we are flying over hurdles.

I'm thankful for friends that care and for being given the presence and acceptance of self to be able to make friends and be loyal to them.

I'm thankful for all the right that our country provides us.

I'm thankful for the sun, the moon, the stars, the seasons...the earth!

Bonafied Space Cowboy

2006-11-22T12:32:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Mikey and Livey were with my paretns and Benny and I went to McD's for lunch. On the way home we heard The Joker (Steve Miller Band) and he's been singing it ever since.

He sings, "I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight TOGER!"

LOL

Sad.

2006-11-18T10:05:00.000-05:00

I have a feeling that two of my best friends won't be at our Baby Shower today. And, that makes me extremeley sad. :( I'm already missing two other really great friends from GA, on the attending list, and now this; it's just pooey-sad. Yay for all the old ladies and relos, though. Yay. :/ NOT.

That. is. all.

Growing Overnight!

2006-11-09T12:11:00.000-05:00

I swear to the Good God Almighty that I have grown overnight. You do know what this means, right? Yup, we're gonna have a 10 or 11 pound baby. Seriously.

Thinking Outloud

2006-11-08T09:40:00.000-05:00

So, about this baby in less than two months....

I'm not nervous or scared but that there, in-and-of-itself, scares me. I mean, shouldn't I be nervous about adding a baby to the mix? Shouldn't I worry about how we'll fit into this tiny apartment? Shouldn't I worry how we'll get around when Michael's in town before we're able to buy a new truck or van? And, then I shrug my shoulders and to myself say, "Why worry? What's it gonna bring?"

It is very uncharacteristic of me to not worry. Is something wrong with me or am I *gasp* gaining maturity?

Feeling Really Good About This

2006-11-03T14:32:00.000-05:00

When we were talking about leaving Georgia and heading back to New York, I almost didn't want to do it b/c of our Karate school. However, the decision was finalized when I became pregnant and we needed to do this; it just felt like it was the right choice. That still didn't minimize the fact that we were leaving a wonderful group of people, a wonderful dojo and ultimately a WONDERFUL Sensei.

We've been back to NY for 3 full months and are entering our 4th now, in November. I took Mikey to one Karate School (Kempo style) that my friend Shelley's son Billy goes to and after one class we knew it wasn't right for us. Not only was in too far, but we just didn't feel the click. So, we let Karate slide for another little while.

Until today!

We were driving home from Co-op and I decided to take a different route, through the backroads and I'm glad I did. At one point, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the Karate School that we'd been wanting to join (due to similarity in styles). There's a location out by our house, right across the street from our church. But, everytime I went to talk to someone noone was there. It kept falling by the wayside. In I went and talked to the Sensei and his mom. This lady turns out to be "the cheese lady" and there's a whole history between her cheese shop and our church and we were both sure that she knew my mom. Heck, I probably looked familiar to her. After all, I had spent many a Sunday afternoon in there eating her little samples of various cheeses!

This is where we are at. Mikey has a gi and four lessons are paid for. I'm sure this will be the school that he will be at for our duration here in NY. It just felt right... Can't wait to see how it feels once he goes for his first lesson today at 5pm!

ETA: We didn't make it to the class but will go on Monday. We were still awaiting the couches (which didn't show until well after 6pm).

31 1/2 weeks

2006-11-02T23:06:00.000-05:00

T minus 1 day and counting!

2006-11-02T07:48:00.000-05:00

We will be sitting in comfort! Couches will arrive anywhere from 1-5pm, tomorrow.

/HIPHIPHOORAY

Reality Check!

2006-10-30T10:19:00.000-05:00

I'm 31 weeks pregnant today. This baby could come in 5 to 8 weeks and anywhere inbetween. WOW! Where did the time go?

I'm in that phase of the third trimester that gives me an anxious feeling. I'm anxious to meet this little boy, NAME HIM, and see how the family dynamics change b/c of him. I'm anxious to care for a newborn again. That newborn smell, his little fingers and toes, his coos, his toothless grin. I can't wait!

Now my big wonderment is: Will the next 5-8 weeks go by fast or slow? I hope they go by fast and that I get all my Christmas shopping done soon. LOL

So Glad ...

2006-10-25T22:57:00.000-04:00

It's wonderful to know that I'm being read. I'm not the greatest of bloggers (s'up Dooce?) but it really tickles my tootie to know that you click my link to read my blog. So, from the bottom of my heart... Thank You!

Back to your regularly scheduled masterbation of penises both big and small. *wink*wink*smooch*wink*

Sponge Bob's Like the Stars in the Sky

2006-10-22T20:31:00.000-04:00

I hate the day before Michael leaves. The time goes by fast enough and being pregnant and homeschooling helps make it even faster but the week he's home makes me realize how much I miss him when he's gone. I know that I'm just hormonal and stuff but I had to choke back tears when this conversation occurred at my parents' dinner table tonight.

Dedo: "Benny, tell Papa who on TV reminds you him when he's gone!"
Benny: "Sponge Bob!"
Papa: "You know what? Sometimes when I'm watching TV and I catch Sponge Bob, I always watch it."
Benny: "Why?"
Papa: "Because I think that maybe you guys are watching it at the same time."

Can I get a collective "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"? *sniff sniff*

We Always [sit and lay] in a Comfortable Stance!

2006-10-20T17:06:00.000-04:00

We should have them in 3 weeks! I can't wait to sit on comfortable couches again!!!

Shoe Saga Continues

2006-10-20T15:06:00.000-04:00

Well, I returned the Docs. I loved them but they weren't fitting properly and I didn't want a good pair of shoes and money to be wasted. So, I found a site where I can get one size bigger. I think I will be happier. Plus, I like this style better and I'm getting free shipping and not paying any tax. Now, the waiting game.

Friday the 13th; Buffalo's Surprise Autumn Storm

2006-10-18T20:52:00.000-04:00

In the wee hours of Friday the thirteenth we were struck with a storm that will be forever known as the "Surprise Storm of Friday the 13th" here in Buffalo, NY. I woke up in the middle of the night to no power, to see the accumulating snow and quickly called Michael to tell him about it. As quickly as I called, I hung up because the lightening and thunder was so monsterous that I felt unsafe on my cell phone. We both couldn't believe that we were getting snow at this time in the autumn. It just was very strange. I covered the kids with extra blankets, lit a candle in the bathroom and comforted the kids regarding the lightening and thunder. I snuggled up in bed, called the dogs up next to me and fell back asleep.

We awoke around 7:00am and I quickly got the kids some sweatshirts and socks. I went by the stove and remembered that it was an old gas stove that would work without electricity. So, I made some hot oatmeal for all of us figuring that we would need something to keep warm. After eating the kids completed their school work that was left over from the previous day. Two hours later we saw my dad snowblowing the driveway and the kids begged to go play in the white stuff. I bundled them up, got them gloves and hats and off they went. Shortly thereafter my mom came upstairs and we lamented about the storm and not having any power. When she came up she was happy that we were staying warm. I had cooked some more on the stovetop (prepared ground sirloin for Shepards Pie) and made some cookies in the oven. After the kids played my mom and dad took O to the store to see if they could find anywhere that had hot coffee. Upon their arrival home they told us how the storm had caused so much damage. There were trees down, power lines down and it was almost war-zone like. The culprit was a very heavy, very wet snow. My mom said that people were taking stuff off the shelves at the grocery store as if it were a matter of life and death.

Around 1:30pm, my mom, myself and B headed down the road to check on my grandparents (mom's parents). They were all right and keeping warm by bundling up. They'd already starting bailing water out of their sumpump as my grandfather was very worried that the basement would flood (this would later be a problem for MANY Buffalonians without power). We left their house in search of gasoline for my mom's car, to no avail. And, it was downright scary on the roads. Tree limbs were fallen as well as power lines (as described by mom earlier). People looked lost and there was an eerieness to the area. Friday the 13th, right?

We got home and ate lunch. I was going stir crazy and needed to get out to search for gas, too. I had heard from my best friend that a local gas station was open, so off I went. Michael was due home the next day and if I had no gas to pick him up from the airport, there he would be stuck. I bundled up, got my boots on and took off. First I went to the gas station that I knew was open. However, when I got there I saw some craziness due to incompenant drives and cars that aren't made to be in slush-snow and on a hill. I decided to go around to the other gas station that I saw open on my way there (I should've just waited when I first saw it and I don't know why i didn't). The way I went could have proven disasterous because I turned down a street that was very clogged with limbs and branches. Dare I even mention the number of downed powerlines. It was very scary and I prayed that I would make it. Thank God, I did. I got to the Sunoco and waited. One whole hour later I got to the pump and proceeded to start pumping. The card reader told me to "See Attendant" and when I did he glummly said, "I'm all out!" I don't think I understood him and said, "Excuse me?" and he reiterated, "I'm all out of gas!" I'd waited an hour and they were all out. And, I was on E(mpty) and scared and I had to pee.

With that I proceeded up to yet another gas station. I waited for 5 minutes and decided not to wait anymore and went to the Tops gas station. I somehow got in a line that was six cars deep. The urge to pee was great but I wasn't about to lose my great place in line. Finally, I made it and pumped my gas. I was lucky enough to use my bonus points and paid fourty cents less, too, but I digress...

When I left the gas station I knew I wouldn't make it home without going to the bathroom first. I saw that my favorite family-owned dollar store (Dollar Galaxy) was open so I quickly parked the truck and ran in to pleed for use of their private bathroom. Luckily - 1) the were open and 2) they have compassion for pregnant ladies because they let me use their facility. To repay them I spent $10 in there, too. I got some candles and other things that I'd be able to use (like decorations and kitchen accessories).

What would have really been perfect would have been if the Tim Horton's drive thru line that I was waiting in for a few minutes yielded some splendid black elixir. However, people were waiting in vain. They would pull up to the order box, hear the recorded greeting, talk for a minute giving their order and then pull up when they were not answered. We could not see that they weren't getting their orders fullfilled. All we whom were waiting could see was them pull forward as if they were getting their order. It wasn't until a man came up to each waiting vehicle to break the news. Really, it didn't matter....I had a tankfull of gas, decorations, candles and new kitchen towels!

I got home 2.5 hours after I set off. My parents decided that they would go off in search of gas at that time. They had M with them and quickly came back because the lines grew bigger and bigger. I went downstairs to see what they were doing upon their arrival and saw my mom's cell phone plugged into the wall.

"Why is that glowing? How is that glowing?"

"I don't know?"

And two seconds later my mom flipped on her kitchen light. POWER. We had power back!! HALLELUJA! When we turned the TV on we found out that in addition to hundreds of thousdands of residents being without power that we were not to drink the water without boiling. With that I was off again to find some bottled water. Being pregnant I didn't want to take any chances with that. We lucked out and found some at Aldi. I got six twelve packs and felt relieved that we would be ok for a few days. When we got home I got the kids ready for bed and thus ended our day. We lucked out, BIGTIME! We got our power back, stayed warm and even got gas on this crazy day. Bigtime. We lucked out! But, what a welcome home this was for our family... *giggles*

We'd see devastion and scarring around us as we ventured out in the following days. We'd hear stories; everyone has a story to tell. We'd learn that people died. We'd see news reports about the devastation. And...we'll see, hear, learn and talk about this storm for a long time. The trees will be a constant reminder, too. The poor sad and scarred trees. Buffalonians are made out of some tough grit, though, and we'll overcome this disaster.

Finally!

2006-10-18T19:13:00.000-04:00

I finally got a new pair of shoes that aren't from Payless or Walmart. I'm not knocking those places b/c for years they have provided me with shoes for many occassions but I just don't have a pair of shoes that are an old standby. Well...that has changed as of today! I got a pair of Dr. Martens. I had a pair of Docs years ago (like 12 years ago) and I loved them so much. I bought those at TJMaxx and I wish I would have kept them all these years. I bet I would still have them. I digress.

Here are my new shoes:

My Mom Just Called

2006-10-12T16:19:00.000-04:00

She's already had one response to the Baby Shower she's throwing us. How cool is that? I'm starting to get really excited about it now. Let the RSVP ball roll!!!

*ETA*

4 more RSVP'd!!!

28 weeks 3 days with a Bad Bra and No Makeup!

2006-10-12T16:14:00.000-04:00

If Only You Could See This!

2006-10-11T14:39:00.000-04:00

Mikey and Livey breakdancing to Men at Work on the kitchen floor!

Who Can It Be Now?

Oh You're So Cool!

2006-10-09T12:08:00.000-04:00

You are so cool when you tell others how successful and wonderful and talented you are. It kind of reminds me of when a guy says he has a big penis when he's only got a 2 inch pencil dick. You're so cool. NOT!

This I Enjoy

2006-10-08T19:36:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting here at the kitchen table and the children are sitting here with me. The boys are building Bionicles and the girl is drawing. The TV is off, everyone is fed (including the dogs), my parents are gone out (no bother there) and the day just turned to night. I look to my left and see the new Halloween decorations that I got and think about the end of the month when we will be dressing up and celebrating All Hallows Eve.

It's times like these when I know that motherhood is my most rewarding path. While I want to scream and run for the hills, at times, I know that I could never find anything that fullfills me as much as this. Right here. Right now. This is what makes my life worthwhile.

So, how will things change in the coming months? How will our new addition shift the family structure? How easy and how hard will it be?

Quite frankly, I think that things will evolve to what they should be and I'm not even the least bit worried. Sure, I have questions and speculations about how life will be altered but I'm not fretting. These kids are so wonderful, so well adjusted and so loving that things cannot be negative.

One thing's for certain, our house will be loud. Our house will be busy. Our house will be a bit chaotic. But, I wouldn't want it any other way. This I enjoy.

Must. Sign.

2006-10-01T20:35:00.000-04:00

I have been neglecting to sign Mikey up for Karate. it's a must this week. I know he misses it. I miss it, too.

So, I've Been Blogging for a Year!

2006-09-19T09:18:00.000-04:00

Wow, it's hard to imagine. I deleted it and then asked for it back and am really glad I did. I like being able to "BlogThis!" at any given moment. I'm sure blogging will get slow in the new year or maybe not. Who knows?

I'm at the point in this pregnancy where I am looking forward to having another child to care for. I think about how it will be to care for another newborn (I really do love that phase), how I'm going to lose weight, how I'm going to keep up with things, how life -in general- will go and just how things will change. But, when I think about it I'm thrown back to knowing that we have been blessed thus far and the blessings won't stop. Sure it'll get hard along the way but when is life not hard?

Here's to another year of blogging; no matter where life takes me!

One Day Before I'm Nine...When I'm Eight...

2006-09-15T19:48:00.000-04:00

"I want you to take me to a junkyard so I can find some stuff so that I can make a big robot!"

:::giggle:::

"Are you laughing at me?"

"No baby, I just saw a funny picture on the screen."

"Oh. OK. So, you'll do that for me on the day after I turn eight?"

"Sure."

"Really, you'll take me to the junk yard after I turn eight?"

"We'll see."

"Well, that can just be my birthday present from you because I really want to make a cool robot out of junk. OK?"

"Ok, baby."

The Cool Junction

2006-09-15T19:45:00.000-04:00

"Someday I'm going to go to a junkyard and find some stuff and make cool toys and I'll open up a store to sell them."

"What will you call this store?"

"The Cool JUNKtion."

"Wow, that's a cool idea!"

"See, told ya it was a cool junktion!"

Why Do They Do This?

2006-09-15T11:01:00.000-04:00

Why do children feel that the best times to call their mother is when they are on the toilet or on the phone. I swear, it's not until I sit on the shitter or until I get on the phone with someone and I actually NEED to hear what they are saying, they chirp like the world is ending or the roof is caving in.

Ugh. It's BEYOND aggrevating.

Dear Crotchety Old Bitch,

2006-09-15T10:29:00.000-04:00

Why do you have to spray fucking chemicals in your yard? Do the little itty bitty weeds irritate you that much? Come on! Didn't you already have cancer once?

I just don't know what you are thinking. If you're just trying to keep us out of your yard, you've succeeded. The kids already said they will avoid your yard like the plague that it is.

Sincerely,
Young Pregnant Mama Who Hates When People Spray Their Lawns

We're Not Sexy Eating!

2006-09-14T10:01:00.000-04:00

Today is my baby's birthday; he's six and I can't believe it! So, in honor of his special day I have made his cinnamon buns for breakfast. I went to pour their cups of milk and the boys ended up getting Sponge Bob cups while the girl got a pretty liliac one. The boys proceeded to torture the girl by telling her that the birthday boy got that cup b/c he was the birthday boy and the eldest said he got SB b/c he was the eldest. And, they got under her skin. Very effectively. She's in the process of exploading and I say, "Livey, they are trying to annoy you. And...they are succeeding!" The birthday boy pipes up with, "Mama, We're NOT Sexy Eating!"

The Baby...

2006-09-13T23:11:00.000-04:00

...is most active at this time of night and I love, love, love it!!! He's bouncing around in there and making my belly poke out in different directions. It's going to be 25 weeks soon and then less than 15 to go. Wow. Just wow!

STOKED!

2006-09-13T12:50:00.000-04:00

I found out today that our town has a Recreational department that offers various classes. Right now I'm looking to get the kids in an 8 week Learn Spanish program. Then we have Gymnastics, Floor Hockey and Art.

In addition to Karate, Girl Scouts and Co-op, we'll pretty much be all set!!

This One's for You x 2!

2006-09-13T09:58:00.000-04:00

You may or may not know it but I'm not too happy living here...Yet!

However, our Tuesday Night Dinner Club and your sweet child (however early he does wake) and are turning that around.

I love cooking for you and seeing your smile after you take the first bite. It really does my heart proud. So, while I'm still trying to find my Buffalo-niche, you have provided me comfort that only a true friend can.

So, thanks Jo. It's going to be much easier adapting to life up here with you by my side.

x2:

Dearest Cousin! You, too, have made my assimilation easier. With your visits, our shopping excursions and walks that never were (we had good intentions and we will be doing this thrice weekly, come spring, I promise). Plus the fact that our "children" play so well together. Thanks to you, too!

At least I am comforted in knowing that when I was first in GA it took me months to make real friends. Here I have two of the realest, ever.

/mush

Night is my Least Favorite Time

2006-09-04T20:26:00.000-04:00

Lately the night is my least favorite time. The kids are in bed and it's quiet and I get hungry and don't want to eat and the couches suck and I don't want to watch TV because of it and Michael's gone so I don't even have anyone to talk to and did I mention that there's nothing good to eat. :(

Wake Up!

2006-09-03T19:15:00.000-04:00

Inside you, boy,
There's an old man sleepin'.
Dreamin',waitin' for this chance.
Inside you,girl,
There's an old lady dozin',
Wantin' to show you a slower dance.

So keep on playin',
Keep on runnin',
Keep on jumpin', 'till the day
That those old folks
Down inside you
Wake up ... and come out to play.

~~~ Shel Silverstein
Falling Up

To: The Bitch From Target That Lied to Me

2006-09-03T15:34:00.000-04:00

Dear Bitch,

I find it highly annoying that when I call your store to ask if you had a specific totebag in stock, in a specific color and at a specific sale price AND you tell me that you have said totebag in stock, in the specific color and at that specific sale price AND when I get my three kids and my pregnant ass out to your store you do NOT have the specific totebag in stock, in the specific color and at the specific sale price. It's just fucking rude. So, next time you are eating at Applebees I hope the line cook hawks a lugie in your chicken primavera. And, next time you go to get your oil changed at Walmart I hope they fuck up your exhaust system. And, on top of that, next time you call looking for a specific item at a specific store, I hope they LIE TO YOU like YOU LIED TO ME! Whore.

Sincerely,
She That Is Vindictive as Can Be in Pregnancy

Name Game

2006-09-03T09:20:00.000-04:00

I was looking for some names to suggest to Michael. This is what I came up with:

Hunter Allen (means: little rock)
Hunter Brennan (means prince)
Hunter Camden (means: from the valley)
Hunter Cassidy (means: clever)
Hunter Farrell (means: Descendant of the man of valour)
Hunter Flynn (means: Heir to the Redheaded)
Hunter Gabriel (means: God is my strength)
Hunter Grant (means: great)
Hunter Guthrie (means: war serpent)
Hunter Jared (means: down to earth)
Hunter Jesse (means: God exists)
Hunter Keg an (means: bright shining flame)
Hunter Kenzie (means: light skinned)
Hunter Kenneth (means: handsome)
Hunter MacKenzie (means: son of light skinned/handsome)
Hunter Reagan (means: son of the small ruler)
Hunter Riordan (means: royal poet)
Hunter Roderick (means: famous ruler)
Hunter Wade (means: traveler)
Hunter Zachary (means: God has remembered)

So Thrilled!

2006-08-31T09:25:00.000-04:00

I have this God-awful wheat intolerance that shows up as eczema on the palms of my hands. It's horrible. If I eat too many wheat products (and what isn't made with wheat, eh?) my hands get all fucked up and it's painful and ugly and just really a big pain in the ass.

So, here I am over 2 weeks w/o eating anything wheat. I've had a bite or two of certain things (pizza, cake and the like) but I haven't been able to really enjoy some of the things that I love and crave, now that I'm all knocked up and stuff.

I got this bag of brownies that are wheat and wheat gluten FREE!! YAY! I went ahead and made them yestereday and OMG, I'm in brownie heaven. Now, next time I'm going to get the cookies and breads that they sell. YAY for Pam and her Wheat and Wheat Gluten Free Products! Just. Yay.

It's a Boy!

2006-08-29T13:32:00.000-04:00

Our baby is a boy. I knew it...call it Mama's Intuition!!

"You're Crazy!"

2006-08-22T09:56:00.000-04:00

That's what Dr. Calabrese told me when we were going over my birth history. It was in regards to me not having an epidural during labor/delivery.

That's me! The crazy lady who shoots babies out of her va-jay-jay without any spinal insertions for pain meds.

With a Shiver in My Bones Just Thinking About the Weather

2006-08-11T09:07:00.000-04:00

It's been so nice here lately. We haven't needed to run the airconditioner and it's just been beautiful for sleeping. It hasn't exactly been swimming weather but that's ok.

I have less than two boxes left to unpack. Sure stuff looks a little discombobulated but it's livable. I never thought it would get done and now I have some semblance of hope.

Breakin' Balls

2006-08-04T22:38:00.000-04:00

A friend, whom shall remain nameless, went shopping with Olivia and I this evening. Her two year old toddler, whom shall remain nameless, was also in tow. After shopping a bit in Target (where I got a lovely clearance priced purse) we went to a little shop called the Country Peddlers. This particular shop has grown in recent years from a produce stand to a full out grocer with a meat market, a retail store, a garden center and now an ice cream shoppe.

Anyyyyyway... Today was this pregnant lady's opportunity to try to heavenly treat called gelato (which my friend whom is still remaining nameless has raved about for months) and you betcha bootie I was all over that like white on rice. I went to the window to our our gelato and Livey's ice-cream while my friend, whom shall remain nameless, watched her son, whom shall remain nameless, and my kiddette. I got the goods and walked over to them to find my friend's son, whom shall remain nameless, holding two gazing balls (one smaller than the other). I said, "Is he ok with those?" and not a moment sooner he dropped the bigger one. She froze. I froze. The lady that was standing there with her child froze. I think Livey laughed, I'm not sure. I think the toddler, whom shall remain nameless, pointed and said "it boke". All I could do was wave my hand like a Jedi at the woman with her child and say, "You did not see anytihng" and we finished our gelattos and got the hell outta dodge. I sure as fuck didn't have $70.00 to buy the broken item and my friend, whom shall remain nameless, just dropped $40.00 at Target and I'm sure she didn't have it either. We concluded that it serves them right having all those gazing balls sitting around. Asshats.

Amazing with a Capital "A"

2006-08-01T19:46:00.000-04:00

It's Amazing what hanging a few things up on a few walls will do. I see a sliver of a glimmer of hope for this apartment. I said sliver. ;)

Keeping With Current Trends

2006-08-01T17:40:00.000-04:00

I will continue to whine in this post.

Honestly, I don't give a fuck if it's annoying you. (General "You")

My hands are in the worst shape ever. Not only have I been eating wheat (save the last two days) the amount of work that I've been doing with them and the stress that I feel I'm under is not helping.

/whine

And Mo if you are reading this I know that I should go to the doctor and I will. Soon. Promise.

I wanna cry....

2006-08-01T15:49:00.000-04:00

I can't even lie down on a couch in my own apartment. Why? Because the boxes in the living room, in front of said couches are too heavy for me to move.

I can't even take a shower in my own apartment. Why? Because my dad hasn't hooked our hot water up.

I can't seem to get anything done. Why? Because I just keep moving one pile of shit to another space thus creating another pile of shit.

I can't seem to want to get this done? Why? Because I feel hopeless, helpless and disgraced. :(

One Good Thing's Come...

2006-07-31T10:46:00.000-04:00

The Northeast is the test market for McDonald's new Iced Coffee and the shit's pretty good. I like it well enough. Now it ain't no Venti Half-caff Iced American and I have a big sense of loss by just not having the straw (you know, the GREEN one) but it's good and cheap. Now if only fucking Timmy would wise up and make an iced coffee as opposed to his fake frappacino shit, then all might be well in the world.

We're Home...

2006-07-31T10:42:00.000-04:00

...and I don't know that I'm entirely happy? Now, this could be a result of the HARD work we endured during this move (Michael's my hero, I can't say that enough, even though he's assholish at times) or it could be the result of having a billion and three boxes piled up around me or it could be that my kids haven't slept in their beds yet or the fact that Michael just left for a 19 day rotation today. I don't know? It could just be these pleasant pregnancy hormones. But, I look around here and think "I moved back to this shithole?" Just to clarify... it's not the people that I love that make it a shithole. If it were not for them I would be really depressed at the whole thing. But, it's the differences between Cumming and Buffalo. Maybe it just takes time to readapt? One thing's for damn sure: I will NOT be going to the God-forsaken place they call Walmart here. Target's gonna have to do.

I Love This Belly!

2006-07-20T16:51:00.000-04:00

I love my pregnant belly. I love it, I just love it so! A few seconds ago I looked down at it and smiled; it's just a wonderful feeling. Even though this baby was a surprise and not planned I am so glad that I have the opportunity to carry another life inside of me.

So Hard To Say Goodbye

2006-07-19T17:54:00.000-04:00

Tonight I will be saying goodbye to one of my best friends in Georgia. It's gonna be so fucking hard and I cry just at the thought of it.

We've spent loads of time together and it's just one of those friendships that seems to have existed forever. So, in reality, it's not Goodbye. Is it? However, I will miss her smile, her companionship, her cooking...all the way down to her red Xterra. Ugh. So, it's not Goodbye but we are moving 900 miles away and while we'll talk and definitely keep in touch we won't be able to go to the park on the fly with the kids, drink iced Americanos, drive down to Alpharetta and eat at Chipotle's, etc..etc..etc..

I'm so glad I know her. I know we'll be friends forever. But, that doesn't make leaving her here any easier.

Jersey, if you are reading this please know that I love you to the moon and back -a million times over! I'll never drink a Starbucks without thinking about you! You'll be one of my best friends forever! And, I love you dearly!

A Lump in the Throat and a Tear in my Eye

2006-07-16T19:04:00.000-04:00

So, yesterday was the Karate test. We said goodbye and thank you to Sensei Dan and while I had a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye, I did not ugly cry. Thank Goodness. They would have just called me the crazy pregnant mama that ugly cries. *giggle*

The Test

Mikey did so well; I was so proud. At the last test he was promoted but on probation. It was a direct result of him not giving it his all. But, after the EKC (Extreme Karate Camp) something changed withing him. He started to give effort. It was apparent at the test yesterday. He not only got off his probation, he was promoted to a green belt.

We took some pictures with Sensei. He said to Mikey, "Make sure you take this picture to show your new Sensei what a handsome Sensei you had in Georgia." It made us laugh. It's those comments that I'll miss hearing. Hopefully our next one is as pesonable and likeable as this one. However, I have a feeling that the next Sensei will have some hard shoes to fill. I'll feel like the mom that loved her son's girlfriend so MUCH and they broke up and no one would ever compare to the old girlfriend.

I'm So Gonna Ugly Cry, I Just Know It!

2006-07-13T19:55:00.000-04:00

On Saturday the dojo is holding a rank test. The test is intended for the higher ranks but Sensei Dan wants Mikey to test so that he can remove him from his probationary belt to full fledged orange belt. Just talking to him about it made my throat close up with an emotional lump. I tried to say "ok see you then" but I honestly don't know what came out. Hopefully it was unnoticeable as there was much going on around us.

We've been part of this dojo for 2 years now. It's been one of the most rewarding experiences for all of us. And my one sadness over leaving Georgia is greatly tied to the Coal Mountain Karate School and Sensei Dan. I learned a lot about myself in the short time that I practiced there. I learned that I can push through pain, that I'm strong, that sweat is great and that balance can be achieved through hard work, persistance, devotion and effort. These are lessons that I walk away with and carry with me; I can only hope Mikey does the same and I think he will.

On Saturday we'll say our goodbye to Sensei Dan. He leaves for vacation the next day so if we don't say "goodbye and thank you" to him on Saturday afternoon then we won't get the chance to. I just know that I'm going to cry and quite possibly do what Oprah calls "the ugly cry". It's ok, though. It shows that my emotions run deep and it shows that I feel gratitude and sadness, at the same time. WOn't be easy but I'll get through with it.

And... someday I'm going to return to that dojo wearing a black belt. It might be in a different style of Japanese Karate but I will still be accepted. This is my goal. With effort, I go forward. Even if I "ugly cry" along the way.

I Feel Overwhelmed . . .

2006-07-10T16:40:00.000-04:00

This house isn't any bigger than 1100square feet. There isn't a basement and the garage is fairly organized. Yet, I feel overwhelmed. I feel like a weight is upon me and it leaves me feeling hopeless and confused. How on earth am I supposed to enjoy my last days in Georgia while worrying about packing up all our belongs?

I guess pregnancy just compounds all these deep feelings I've been having. :( I wish that I could just magically fast forward to the first week of August, heck even September. I'd love to just have that settled feeling. Right now I'm overwhelmed and later unsettlement will take it's place. Thank God we're moving to a place that is waiting for us with arms wide open. At least there is comfort in that.

Elvis is the KING

2006-07-01T22:47:00.000-04:00

Elvis Presley
A Little Less Conversation

A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby

Baby close your eyes and listen to the music
Drifting through a summer breeze
It's a groovy night and I can show you how to use it
Come along with me and put your mind at ease

A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby

Come on baby I'm tired of talking
Grab your coat and let's start walking
Come on, come on
Come on, come on
Come on, come on
Don't procrastinate, don't articulate
Girl it's getting late, gettin' upset waitin' around

A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby

A Developement ;)

2006-06-28T22:58:00.000-04:00

We will be residing in the 2 bedroom apartment above my parents garage.

The kids will share a room; the beds fit!

We will use hand-me-down couches but will get new ones upon the purchase of a house.

We will save anywhere from $800-1000 every month.

So, is it my favorite option? No. Is it the smartest one. Yes.

Pray for my sanity.

No Developements :(

2006-06-28T15:12:00.000-04:00

No developments. There's a few calls that have not been returned so we don't know. He said he'd rather stay in ATL at this point b/c the only ones that seem decent and take pets are between 7-800. Otherwise, he said, we might just have to sacrifice and stay in the apartment and save the 7-800/month to put towards a downpayment in the fall, for our own house. I don't know? I guess he told my mom that it's miserable upstairs w/o a/c and that with the three kids and me being pregnant that we'd needs some cooling system. She said that we could get some window units for the bedrooms or a free standing a/c for the front (and we'd use fans to circulate the cool air). He also told my mom, "You know how Mishelle and her dad get when they are under the same roof for too long" and she laughed and agreed. Again, I don't know?

Could we do it for a few/serveral months? Sure.
Do we want to do it? Not really.
Should we do it? Probably.
Does it make the most sense? Absolutely.

Redundantly, I don't know?

Home is Where the Heart is....

2006-06-28T11:18:00.000-04:00

...but you have to find a home before you can put your heart in it! Right now I'm stressed beyond beliefe. Our move is coming up in about a month and Michael is currently on the search for a place for us to rent in Buffalo. So far, after one day of calling and looking, we have nothing. Hopefully today he fairs better, puts a deposit down on something and we can live happily ever after UNTIL we start looking for a house to buy in 6-12 months.

There is another option, if we don't find anything but it's not the one that will make me happy. I'm trying not to think about it but it just might well have to be thought about.

Uh.. I don't know... I just hope and pray that some place will take dogs that is in a safe area and close enough to my family and friends.

Show Offs Suck

2006-06-24T08:22:00.000-04:00

I know two show offs.

One is proffessional.

One is quite amateur.

Both show offs equally suck. And what amazes me is that instead of finding the proper venue to show off in (I know these exist) they decide to do it at a place where their egos can be stroked more. Lovely.

Fucking show offs. That is all.

Secret Preggo Mama!

2006-06-01T19:27:00.000-04:00

I'm still in a bit of shock that I'm pregnant with number four! I'm really looking forward to getting out of the first trimester b/c that is when it's the most touch-and-to. I just want to have an effortless pregnancy and labor and delivery!

The kids are beyond thrilled and Michael and I are throwing around names. I'm really excited!! Excited and SHOCKED! ;)

Bigfoot's Name is Freddy!

2006-05-12T09:21:00.000-04:00

Ok, so that's from The Zack Files which is the first-ever-chapter book that Mikey has read. How cool is that? I finally got him to see that there was a whole section of books, at the library, that is full of these cool chapter books.

GO MIKEY, GO MIKEY, GO, GO, GO MIKEY!!

I Can Relate!

2006-04-25T10:21:00.000-04:00

Free Sexy Shoes!!

2006-04-25T10:18:00.000-04:00

Last week, when I was getting my Avon catalogs from Shelly, a lady from the Co-op walked up and asked, "Do either of you know anyone that wears a size 10 or 11 shoe?" and I cheerily replied, "I do!". She proceeds to hand me over 4 boxes of really nice shoes. She said, "if the shoe fits..." and lowe and behold, they did!

So, now I have four, nice and rather expensive shoes for free. I asked Shelly if she thought they were hot (not hot as in Paris Hilton hot but hot as in five finger discount hot) and she assured me that coming from this particular lady, they were in no way stolen hot.

Honestly, it's not beneath me to wear stolen shoes! I have a few stories I could tell from my former life as a kleptomaniac shoe thief, but I digress.

Here are my HOT SHOES:

Yeah, So Yay!

2006-04-22T10:14:00.000-04:00

I've researched some stuff about body type, metabolism and lovely diet related stuff and turns out I'm a fucking "endomorph". Which really means that all I have to do is look at food and I get blobular. Nice!

So, I have to avoid sugary foods (duh!) and simple carbohydrates but everything else is fair game. This is gonna be fun. Oh and I have to eat every 3-4 hours.

/fat vent

Favorite Mornings!

2006-04-06T07:11:00.000-04:00

This morning Michael and I both woke up early. At 6:30 the coffee was ready and we were sitting at our computers drinking out of our favorite cups, listening to our favorite songs and doing our favorite thing: Coffee/Computer Time!

I love these Favorite Mornings!

Seven Year Old Becomes Eight Year Old and then again I Have Another Seven Year Old!

2006-04-04T09:25:00.000-04:00

Yesterday my daughter turned seven. She had gone camping with her Brownie troop over the weekend so that was a great celebration for her. She told me that she told everyone that it was her birthday and then she asked them if they would like to sing to her. Crassitude! I love it.

We took her out for her birthday lunch and she chose Chinese Buffet (her FAVE). So, we went and ate and I ate entirely too much sushi (the buffet has a sushi bar but I only eat the non-raw stuff).

Ya know, the boy doesn't seem any different to me. But, this seventh birthday for her in conjunction with the camping trip without us has grown her up a little.

"How does it feel to be seven?", I asked.

"Kinda cool. Kinda different. I like it!", she replied.

I love that girl. She's my favorite girl in the whole wide world. Sometimes she's hard to take with her screeching and whinyness but all-in-all she's the best little girl. She's sweet, sassy, loveable, caring, kind-hearted, beautiful and everything you want a little girl to be. She's equally a tom-boy as she is a girly-girl and I love that about her.

Happy Birthday Sweet Pea!! YOU ROCK!

My Eight Year Old

2006-04-01T10:27:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, my eldest son turned eight. Wow. I can't believe it. He's really a big boy now. And, what a great big boy he is. He's smart, funny, sensitive and cool. He's just a great kid and I am enjoying his grown-upness!

Happy 8th Birthday Big Boy!! You're THE BOMB!!!

The River, LIVE

2006-03-29T17:01:00.000-05:00

The River
Live

It came without warning
A love like I ain't ever felt before
She's like my destiny calling
And she's laying there all naked on the floor
And suddenly, out of the blue she's singin'

Oh, baby, let my lovin' ease your pain
Bring your burnin' skin to my river once again
I'll give you life
Oh, baby, let my lovin' ease your pain tonight

She came without warning
Like an angel come from Heaven in the night
The kiss makes me tremble
So she pulls me close and she holds me oh so tight
Then suddenly, out of the blues she starts singin'

Oh, baby, let my lovin' ease your pain
Bring your burnin' skin to my river once again
I'll give you life
Oh, baby, let my lovin' ease your pain

I'll give you life

Oh, baby, let my lovin' ease your pain
Bring your burnin' skin to my river once again
I'll give you life
Oh, baby, let my lovin' ease your pain, yeah
Bring your burnin' skin to my river
Oh, to my river

Three Weeks

2006-03-28T09:48:00.000-05:00

I have three weeks till I test for a new belt in Karate. I secretly wish that he would give me a blue belt, skipping yellow, but I will GLADLY take a yellow belt. The cool thing about it is that my parents will be here that weekend. So, they will get to see both Mikey and I rank test!

Three weeks to perfect both my Katas.
Three weeks to be able to relax in square stance for three minutes.
Three weeks to be able to stretch deeper.
Three weeks to work on my finger tip pushups.

EEK.

Having Children is Like Watching Your Heart Walk Around Outside of Your Body

2006-03-25T16:15:00.000-05:00

And... Watching them spar in a Kumite match, at an AAU Championship Karate Tournament, is like being as nervous as a whore in church on Sunday. My goodness, gracious. I think I now have more grey hair than Taylor Hicks from American Idol.

He did good, though. He held his ground and finished in second place. A silver medal winner, my boy is! The same can't be said for his Kata competition. First things first, he went up against a boy from our school that is just awesome. He's a very strong and determined kind of boy. Mikey is strong and determined but in his own rite. Regardless, my boy got 4th place; that's nothing to scoff at. However, the look on his face was something else. He wasn't crushed as much as he was mad at himself for not placing. I thought he should have gotten, at least, 3rd place but 2/3 of the judges felt that the other boy did better. What do they know, anyhow?

Congrats and Big Props to our Big Boy! He's the cream of the crop as far as I'm concerned!!

The Future

2006-03-15T11:11:00.000-05:00

You know, whatever [the future] holds is fine.

I am content with the knowledge that things that happen, happen for a clear and concice reason.

Life is really an open book with empty pages. The lyrics of that song I previously posted the lyrics to detail that. I don't know what I will write next but I know that since the rest is still unwritten that it can become whatever it will become.

This Is Where We Are All At

2006-03-13T13:37:00.000-05:00

"Unwritten"

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah

Sometimes I Do This...

2006-02-19T15:52:00.000-05:00

Yes, sometimes I disappear from whatever blogging/journalling program I am using. I tend to take these breaks b/c I really am too busy and that leads to a definitive quietness. It's not that I don't have anything to say, I'm just too tired and spent to say it.

Life is going pretty darn well. The kids are keeping me busy and every day, almost, we have something to do. From Karate to Story Time, we do it all. They are doing really well with their school work and learning a lot. This week they are going to learn about fractions more and division. They are also trying to get finished with six hours of reading time for the Six Flags Reading Program. It's very motivating and I guess I will have to think of things like this to keep the motivation high.

On Friday, the 17th, we had a little Valentine's Party here at our house. Michelle and her four children came, along with my friend Rene and her adorable daughter Emory. It was a real success. I really would like to throw more parties like this. Once a month parties, with a specific theme and dinner for the moms, to boot. Too cool. The main problem is this glorified apartment of a house that we live in.

My biggest hope is that Michael lands a good paying job in which he can fly OUT of Atlanta, so that we don't have to move. I really don't want to have to move from this area; we love it so. But, we'll have to do what we'll have to do and that's what it boils down to.

Anyway, I know I should write more. Time slips by and every day something happens that I think to myself, "I need to blog that" but I don't. I'll try harder. I promise.

Secret Agent Mama, Is It True Love?

2006-02-09T16:03:00.000-05:00

Love by ruby mae
Your name
Your partner
You two are	Meant for eachother
Your meeting was by	Chance
They are your	Hero
You are their	Shining star
Your love will	Never end

Quiz created with MemeGen!

1/26/06

2006-01-26T20:58:00.000-05:00

Don't be afraid
Don't be scared
It's all going to work out
And, when you think it's
over you'll get hit again
But don't be scared
I'll be here with you
to help sort it out
I'll hold your hand
It will be all right
So don't be afraid
I promise

9-19-04

2006-01-23T15:54:00.000-05:00

i want.
i need.
i should.
i could.
i can't.
i won't.
i feel.
i hurt.
i ache.
i love.
i must.
i see.
i don't.
i laugh.
i cry.
i stumble.
i emerge.
i clasp.
i clutch.
i rest.
i wait.
i walk.
i run.
i whisper.
i scream.
i am.
does it ever fucking end?

-MOL

4-20

2006-01-23T15:47:00.000-05:00

I'm waiting for this profound moment
Not searching
Just waiting
I sit and day after day I wait
Nothing really happens
But yet I sit still
Words do not flood me
Moods frequently escape
And still nothing
It's like I'm waiting for
Something spectacular to fly out at me
I'll be damned if I even know what it is
My mind lingers
Intricate thoughts do not prevail
I feel mentally marooned
What the fuck am I waiting for
Everyone knows that you have to search
For reflection can't be given unless
You are willing to spread yourself
To see what it is your are really made of
Again
How am I to know
How am I to see
Because I wait
My soul seems empty
Motions are contented
Conversation flows
And I'm still waiting
I need to just stop waiting
Figure out what it is that needs to be
Smile
Breathe
But I should not wait
I'm postitive waiting is no good
To have a profound moment is to act
In this continuation we call life

Not 100%

2006-01-18T10:50:00.000-05:00

I'm just so not feeling 100%. My head is heavy and my throat feels funny. I'm just not well. Because of it, I missed, what was bound to be, a great cardio class w/ Moe. Wahhhhh!!!! I'm going to try to rest and keep my fluids high so that I can go to Karate. But, if I'm not feeling well I'll probaby skip.

Sunday Morning Sun Is Shining

2006-01-15T09:02:00.000-05:00

8:27am: I just sat down to a cup of coffee and I felt the desire to put music on. Except, not one artist came to mind that I would like to hear right now.

8:30am: I need music. What a predicament?

8:39: So I begin to search the net for some tunes and I'm turning up with a big, fat NOTHING.

8:42: My CD's stare at me and NOTHING. Meanwhile, my coffee's almost done. Shit.

8:54: Search harder.

8:57: Launchcast through Yahoo! it is.

8:58: First I have to listen to some commercials.

8:58: Still nothing.

9:00: More commercials.

9:01: Music is on but the coffee's gone.

Written in 2001

2006-01-13T09:43:00.000-05:00

Where to begin? Hmmm...let's see...

First and foremost I am the only child to immigrant parents from Macedonian (Former Yugoslav Republic). They immigrated here in the late 60's and I am their only child, first-born in the USA. I was raised in a bilingual home and in me was distilled many traditions, the Orthodox religion and a heritage that is marvelous. I graduated high-school in the top 25% of my class and went on to college to study Biology (Pre-Med). However, when I met my husband online in May '94 my life went in a different direction. I realized that I didn't want to be a doctor after all and quit going to college after I dedicated three years to it. In retrospect I wish that I would have pursued the arts (literature, poetry, painting, etc) instead. But, that part of my life is over; Left to blossom later on...

In September 1995 I married my soul mate, Michael. He and I were inseparable from the beginning and above all he was (and is) my best friend. We had a very traditional Macedonian Orthodox wedding. It was wonderful and people still comment about our day. In July '96 we made a big decision and moved to New Orleans, LA (Michael is originally from the Baton Rouge area and has his family down there). Mostly the reason we moved was to get out on our own and to have some freedom away from my sometimes domineering family (LOL!). It was a great experience and even though at the time I was sad that I was away from all that I had ever known, I grew so much when we were there. I learned that I was a woman, first; a wife, second and a daughter, third. This realization was a big turning point in my life.

In August '97 we found out that we were expecting our first child. We had been "sort-of" trying to get pregnant and I even quit my Assistant Manager position at Sears Portraits Studio because we felt the stress of the job was keeping us from conceiving. I quit in February and just relaxed. When we confirmed the pregnancy we made another decision that changed our lives. We decided that a move back to the Buffalo area was needed. Both of us didn't want to live in the south any longer and more importantly we wanted the immediate support of friends and family (something that wasn't readily available in LA as Michael's family was an hour+ away). Moving back up to NY meant that Michael would leave a perfectly good paying job in LA but it also meant that we would be starting a family in a place that was familiar, with a good foundation. In September '97 we packed up and headed home. We were set to live in the garage apartment that my parents had.

To make a super long story short: Our first child was born on March 31, 1998.. It was a son, we named MFL III (affectionately referred to as Mikey). A few months later we were pregnant again with our second. Our daughter, OPL (Livey), was born on April 3, 1999. We were a family of four and doors were opening for Michael with his job situation. Life for us was good and then in January '00 we found out that we were expecting again. This threw us for a loop as it was a total surprise! We were wondering how we would live in the small apartment (a family of 5 with 2 dogs), how we would make ends meet and so much more. Not one month later our world was changing yet again. We got everything started to buy a house and Michael got a new job that paid him double from what he was making before. It was a fresh start and things looked so bright! On September 14, 2000 our second son, BOL (Benny), was born.. Only three days before we signed the papers closing the deal on our first family home!!!

In January of '01 Michael was laid off from his job.. It's been a struggle for us but through it all we remain strong in family, faith, love and hope....

Fast foward. 2006. Living in GA. Michael's a pilot. I'm a home schooling SAHM and life is really good save for the fact that we don't have much money in the bank. Oh well. Life really is good. Thank God.

Intersecting Beams of Light

2006-01-13T07:10:00.000-05:00

There are people that come into your life and you don't even notice.
There are people that come into your life that have a spotlight shining on them.
There are times when it's dark with no hope of dimming.
There are times when it's dim with no hope of light.
There are moments in our being that should be forgotten.
There are moments we have that our heart leads us to remember.
These are my times with you.
The spotlight shining, the hopeful light, the rememberance;
They are all of you.

Sreken Bozik!

2006-01-07T09:26:00.000-05:00

Christmas; Kolede, Badnik i Bozik

The Macedonian Orthodox Christmas celebration begins the evening of January 5th, which is known as kolede. Children go from door to door singing Christmas carols, heralding the birth of Jesus, and receiving fruits, nuts and candy from the people. Later in the evening, the elderly people from the neighborhood gather around a bonfire outside, and engage in a conversation about the past year and the year to come.

The following evening is the Christmas Eve, when a traditional oak log (badnik) is brought to the home. This log is cut by the father of the household and his older son, while the table is being set for the Christmas Eve supper (Posna Vechera). The dinner cannot have anything derived from animals, and it cannot be cooked using cooking oil or other types of fat. The traditional dinner usually consists of baked fish. The dinner is the last day of a traditional 40-day Orthodox Lent, which is done in a way to honor the Virgin Mary for carrying baby Jesus.

The oak log is cut into three pieces, representing the Holy Trinity, and each piece is brought into the house by the father. A member of the family receives a piece and places it on the fire. As this is done, the son and the father exchange a greeting: "Good evening and happy Christmas Eve" (Dobra Vecher i Vesel Badnik). While the log is being placed on the fire, the mother and the grandmother gather the children together into the room where the dinner is to be served. Each person carries a bundle of straw from outside, and together with the mother they spread the straw on the floor. The spreading of the straw on the house floor is meant to make the atmosphere more like that when the night Jesus was born. The house is decorated further decoratesd with oak and pine branches, representing the wish of the family for long and healthy life, "with health strong as oak, and with a life long as that of the oak."

Then the christmas dinner is served on the same table that the Christmas candle is burning. As part of the dinner, homemade bread (pogacha) with a coin hidden in it (usually placed inside before it was baked) is served. The traditional belief is that whoever gets the coin in his/her piece, will have a particularly successfull year to look forward to. The Christmas candle is then lit, and everyone sings a Christmas hymn. Very early Christmas day, people attend the first morning church service. After the family returns from church, the first guests arrive. This is usually someone who is a dear friend of the family, and is especially honored during the celebration. The guests are met by the hosts, who kiss the guest three times on the cheeks and give him/her the Christmas greeting "Christ is born" (Hristos se rodi), and the guest replies "Indeed he is" (Voistinu Se Rodi). These greetings are exchanged throughout the three days or Christmas. After the exchange or the greetings, the guest shakes the burning oak log and when the sparks fly up, he/she expresses his/her best wishes for the family. This is usually done in some form of rhyme, mentioning the Special desires of the family.

The Christmas dinner usually consists of roasted meat and other festive dishes; the meal marks the beginning of the Christmas celebration, which lasts for the following three days. The festive meal has to be rich, and should have meat as part of it, as it is meant to celebrate the birth of Jesus after the strict Orthodox Lent.

Secret Agent Mama, Is She AADD?

2006-01-05T10:53:00.000-05:00

Symptoms of Adult ADD:
-Lack of focus
-Disorganization
-Restlessness
-Difficulty finishing projects
-Losing things

Yep, I have it.

Three fucking times I got up to go get my grocery list so that I could put the ingredients I need to make Kung Po Chicken tonight. But, each time I did something different.

I think I've had an ADD explosion. Lately I can't keep the house organized for shit, I can't seem to find things that I know I had and I'm just in complete dissaray.

I think it's time for therapy.

One-on-One

2006-01-02T21:35:00.000-05:00

Mikey and I got some really good one-on-one time with Sensei Dan tonight. He worked me out but good. God, I love Karate!!!

Give Me Karaoke or Give Me Deathe

2006-01-01T22:10:00.000-05:00

I know what Olivia is getting for her birthday now...a karaoke machine and beaucoup de CDs!!

'1985' by Bowling for Soup

Woo Hoo Hooooo!
Woo Hoo Hooooo!
Debbie just hit the wall
She never had it all
One Prozac a day
Husband's a CPA
Her dreams went out the door
When she turned 24
Only been with one man
What happened to her plan?
She was gonna be an actress
She was gonna be a star She was gonna shake her ass (I said bootie)
On the hood of Whitesnake’s car
Her yellow SUV is now the enemy
Looks at her average life
And nothing, has been...ALRIGHT, since

Bruce Springsteen,
Madonna
Way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that shes uncool
'Cause she's still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985

Woo Hoo Hooooo!(1985)
Woo Hoo Hooooo!
She’s seen all the classics
She knows every line
Breakfast Club,
Pretty In Pink
Even St. Elmo's Fire
She rocked out to Whaam!
Not a big Limp Bizkit fan
Thought she'd get a hand
On a member of Duran Duran

Where's the mini-skirt made of snakeskin?
And who's the other guy that's singing in Van Halen?
When did reality become T.V.?
What ever happened to
sit coms,
game shows,
on the radio

Bruce Springsteen,
Madonna,
way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that shes uncool
'Cause she's still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985

Woo Hoo Hooooo!
She hates time, make it stop
When did Motley Crue become classic rock? (classic rock)
And when did Ozzy become an actor?
Please make this
stop,
stop,
stop!

AND BRING BACK
Bruce Springsteen,
Madonna
way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that shes uncool
'Cause she's still preoccupied
With 1985

Now, where were you in 1985. I was 11 years old!! LOL

I Resolve...

2006-01-01T14:50:00.000-05:00

I've been giving generous thought to my 2006 Resolutions and here they are.

Pertaining to Health:

1) I resolve to eat appropriate portion sizes.
2) I resolve to not obsess about my food b/c I resolve to make good food choices.
3) I resolve to walk 5 times a week (1-2 miles/day, both indoor via WATP or outdoor) and I resolve to keep on kicking in Karate.
4) I resolve to get back to a Yogic way of life.
5) I resolve to be happy with my body, no matter what size and shape it is; just as long as I'm HEALTHY!

Pertaining to Business:

1) I resolve to get more Avon catalogs out to customers.
2) I resolve to just keep going and make this work!

Pertaining to the Children and Michael:

1) I resolve to yell less or not yell at all.
2) I resolve to play more.
3) I resolve to get them outside more.
4) I resolve to be more organized with our home school (this is a hard one b/c we go at our own pace and do what we can, when we can).
5) I resolve to keep expanding my cooking skills.

2006, Already?

2006-01-01T14:27:00.000-05:00

Holy snap, man, I can't believe that it's 2006. 2005 had it's ups and downs but doesn't every year? In the 90's the 2K's seemed eons away and here were are almost through the first decade of 2K. It's unreal but yet it's so real.

We were very lucky to be invited to 2 different parties this year. We declined a fellow GA Mom's party invite because of how far they live from us (almost an hour away). By the time the party got changed to a little closer to home we had accepted Rene's invite for the party at her house. It's all good, really. :)

Regardless, we ushered in the New Year very happily. We had a blast! Rene, Andy and their daughter, Maureen and Jeff were there with the kids, Heather and Kelly and their motley testosteroeful crew and another of Andy's friends and his wife and best friend were all there as well as Rene's sweet-as-chocolate-cream-pie sister, Jessa. We had a lot of food and drink and a KARAOKE machine! I was unanimously declared to be the "Queen of Karaoke" and rightfully so, if I do say so myself. *giggle* The drinks went down really easily, too. I had three of Jessa's fruity concoction with Rum in the first hour on an empty stomach. After I paused my beverage consumption for a while I resumed with Rene's peach-orange martinis. On top of that add in a champagne glass and I was pretty lit. I wasn't blubbering, though. That's always a plus.

The biggest bonus of the night was how well Michael got on with Andy, Jeff and Kelly (whom he had met in the summer). They talked like they had known each other for years, much like how us girls clicked. It was pretty awesome. Not because he's mine but I think Michael's pretty damned fantastic (save when he's pissed off at me for something stupid - haha).

Benny was first to go down from our brood. At about 10:15 he climbed up on one of the couches sleepily. I asked Michael to get the sleep clothes and sleeping bags. By 10:30 Benny was asleep. Next to go down was Olivia. She had only wanted to watch TV in her sleeping bag but by 11:30 she was down for the count. Mikey, on-the-other-hand, was determined to stay up to see the fireworks that were set to go off at midnight, across the street. He made it and then some. But by 1:20am he was so cranky and groggy that I draged him downstairs. Maureen laughed when she recanted what I said to him as I took him down. I said, "Son, you're just overstimulated.." and boy-oh-boy, was it ever true.

We hung around until about 2:00am'ish. By the time we got everyone and everything out of the house and into the truck, and said our good-byes and thank-yous, it was around 2:20. Livey called out 2:42 after she made a pee-pee and prepared to jump into her cozylicious bed. By 3am all three kids were snug as bugs in rugs and the dogs had peed and pooped and Michael and I were in bed, fan turning above us, as we sunk into the sleepy abyss. I remember telling him how much fun I had and I remember him telling me how much fun I had and the next thing I knew my dad's ring was playing and I was answering my phone in a hushed manner. It was after 10am.

I spoke to both my parents early in the New Year. I also had the chance to say "Happy New Year" to an old friend of Michael's, also an old friend of mine from our New Orleans days of old. It was great to hear David's voice and I chastized him about the fact that he needs to come and see us!!

All-in-all, 2005 was a pretty great year. I'm happy with our life here in Georgia. I'm happy with all my relationships. I'm happy. I'm happy and I expect for this happiness to carry through. May God bless and keep us safe, healthy and content and may He bless all that we encounter in 2006 and always.

Happy New Year 2006!

After I Hit Publish...

2005-12-28T09:24:00.000-05:00

I am getting my sedentary, lazy ass up off this machine and work out. I'm going to do the Walk Away the Pounds DVD that I got from the library and maybe even follow up with the Pilates one I got.

Go. Me.

Success and Failure, in One Instant....

2005-12-26T17:47:00.000-05:00

Christmas was quite the success! The kids liked all their stuff but would have liked them more if stupid Mama would have bought the gaht-damned batteries. ::googley eyes:: Failure at it's finest.

I Should Be Wrapping

2005-12-21T21:16:00.000-05:00

But, I'm not. I have a feeling I'm gonna be pulling an all nighter on the 24th. EEK!

Pauline, You Will Giggle....

2005-12-21T11:19:00.000-05:00

Olivia just said, "Wouldn't Piper look so funny if she had braces? She'd open her mouth to yawn and we'd see them sparkle and it will be really cute AND funny!"

I have no clue, Cuz. I seriously am stumped!

No Title Because I Feel Unwitty

2005-12-20T14:03:00.000-05:00

So, today's Tuesday and as far as I'm concerned the week is just about over. Yesterday we had our friends (Michelle & kids) over. The kids did some wooden crafts that I got from Michael's and we visited, drank way too much coffee, smoked some ciggies and then we put together a lasagna. Kids don't have any real taste buds or culture and they didn't eat any of it. Well, except Caleb; that boy can eat a horse! After they left I made an executive decision NOT to go to Karate. Don't think it didn't about kill me. I love me some Kiyaing! But, I think I have somehow inflammed or pinched my sciatic nerve. My lower back kills but it feels better upon stretching it. I'm sure I would have been better off going to Karate but I wanted to give it a day to rest. We'll try and get there tomorrow, for sure.

Today I had invited Anne (& her boys) and Linda (& her daughter) over but have to renege on it. Mikey woke up feeling "pukey" and actually puked around 10am. Olivia is now complaining of a tummy ache, too. Luckily, it's only a 24 hour thing and Benny already had it. Long live viruses. Motherfuckers.

Tomorrow I have to pick up my Avon catalogs and we have to get our Ceramics to send my parents and give to Regina. Afterwards, we've been invited by Linda to McDonalds. She wants to buy us lunch for Christmas. I thought that was very nice and providing everyone is healthy, we'll go!

Thursday we have a Christmas lunch playdate with our newest friends; Maureen (Ben and Sophia), Rene (Emory), Kristen (MaKenna) and Heather (Gavin, Grayson, Griffin). We became friends with each other through Heather. The kids took soccer with Gavin in the fall of 2004 and then he took one session of Karate with Mikey at Central Park. Heather invited the kids to her birthday party for Gavin in the fall of this year and that's where I met Maureen and Rene. From there I was invited to another girl's birthday party and saw Mo and Rene again and they told me about their coffee meetings on Mondays (which is perfect since Michael is off on Mondays). Long story, short; we've made good friends. I'm thrilled. FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY, real like minded people with REAL personalities that do REAL things and LIVE in my city. Who'da thunk? LOL We're going to a NYE Party at Rene's house, even. I cant wait!!! So, back to the playdate. We're all pitching in. Maureen is hosting and we are gonna have crafts, food, sweets, the whole nine yards. It's gonna be wild.

Friday. I think I might get to rest and catch up on laundry. I'm caught up as of now but this won't last for long.

Saturday. We're going for Christmas Eve lunch to Regina and Tommy's. Laid back, good food, family... Should be nice. Wish my parents could be with us. :(

Sunday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY JESUS!!!!!

I've used up my exclamation marks for the day so now I will end this blogpost.

!! (ok, I had 2 more)

Christmas Decor - Check!

2005-12-10T21:05:00.000-05:00

Today I got my bah-hum-bugged ass up the attic steps and I brought down the Christmas decorations. I decided on doing something different this year and I put garland on the posts of our front stoop. One one side of the door is a wooden wreath with Santa holding his "Merry Christmas" sign and on the other side is a wooden snow man holdind his "Let it Snow" sign. No chance of that, here in GA, but one can hope.

So, the tree will not be in front of the window this year. Instead I have opted to put it beside the mantle/fireplace, by the garage door. This way, it will be out of the way and will still iluminate the family room in all it's Christmasy splendor. The tree is not decorated because I wanted to do it right and the two strings of colored lights on white wire just wasn't doing it. One string is on the front window (just kinda hanging on the valance) and the other string is run, back-and-forth twice, on the mantle. It looks nice in the night time. The real test is to see how this looks in the daylight. If it looks cheesy, I will have no problem taking them down.

After we fight the crowds in Walmart, while purchasing our green wired Christmas lights, we'll come home and decorate the tree. Pictures to follow.

Maybe this will help me get out of the "I-don't-believe-it's-Christmas-already" funk that I've been in. Only time will tell, eh?

Happy Birthday Main Man

2005-12-09T10:50:00.000-05:00

I've celebrated 12 birthdays with this man of mine! Wow! 12 birthdays. That's a lot.

1994, 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 & now 2005!!

This morning I woke up early enough to get a cake baked and decorated. It was a little warm when he cut into it but it was very yummdillyummy!! The kids made him some cards and gave them to him while he was getting dressed. I told the kids to come once he was ready to walk down the hall to get his coffee/lunch. We lit the candles and sang as soon as he rounded the corner! Our special little birthday party for Papa!!

Happy Birthday Michael! I hope that wish you wished comes true. I loveth thee.

Encouragement

2005-12-07T23:02:00.000-05:00

"I can see Karate in your eyes!"

Spoken to me by Sensei Dan as I shook his hand after class.

KeYa!!!

I Hold it Dear to my Heart, too!!

2005-12-07T21:26:00.000-05:00

What ever happened to predictability?
The milkman, the paperboy, evening TV.

Everywhere you look, everywhere you go (there’s a heart).
There's a heart. A hand to hold onto.
Everywhere you look, everywhere you go.
There’s a face of somebody who needs you.
Everywhere you look,

When you’re lost out there and you’re all alone,
A light is waiting to carry you home,
Everywhere you look. Everywhere you look.

Sponge Bob Square Pants' Christmas Special went off and ass soon as it did I hear the three infamous bars of this song... Mikey exclaims, "OH I LOVE THIS SHOW THE BEST!!!"

Rock on Full House. You are spanning generations. Generations, I say!!

"A library is thought in cold storage." - Herbert Samuel

2005-12-07T15:39:00.000-05:00

Today we dropped Olivia off at Gymnastics and I decided that instead of sitting around in the gym that I'd take the boys to the bank, deposit some Avon checkage, and then we'd go to the library.

Backstory:

Before we left for Buffalo in October we had a gazillion books to return. I had pulled up our account history of what was due and we had every book accounted for, save one. This one that was no where to be found just happened to be about Pilots. I made the kids look for that book for hours before we left to return them, to no avail. Mikey swore, up and down, that we returned it the week prior. I wasn't too convinced but had to let go of it. After all, the very next day we were trekking up north and really what could I do? So, we went in to the library and I metioned to the librarian that we couldn't find this book and that the eldest boy could have sworn that it was returned. She said, "That's not a problem. We'll just suspend this book in the system. If you find it, bring it back." Sure thing, mama!

We had one more book that was forgotten at home and since it was so late I asked Michael to return it for us. He said he would; said being the operative word. Lowe and behold, we return home and the Rhino book was still on the counter. Michael had forgotten to take it back. Late fee. Then, a few hours later, as the kids were preparing for slumber I hear "OH BOY!" and the kids run up to me. Mikey was carrying something but I couldn't quite make it out until he held it up and I could see, it was the Pilot book.

"Uh, Mama, we forgot that this was under all the stuffed animals on Benny's bed!"

"You forgot?"

"Yeah."

"But I had you scour the whole house for this specific book. Did. I. Not?"

"Yes, but, uh, we, uh, forgot it was there."

At this point I told the kids that they would be responsible for the fines on this book. Which were looking at about $5.00. They were unhappy but it was their fault.

Fast forward to today.

I go to pull into the library and I hear Mikey mutter something. For all I know he could have said "Oh Shit" but he really said "Oh No". He went on to tell me that he didn't have his money and what about all the fines and how were we gonna take books out if, yadda yadda yadda. I told him not to worry about it and that we'd eventually pay the fine. No problem.

We get our books. We go to check out and the librarian says, "You have an outstanding fine." Mikey gulps and I say "I know but we can't pay it right now." and she tells me that it's ok if we pay it next time. [This next part could have happened in slow motion for all I know] I ask, "How much is the fine?" and she responds with "foooooooooooooorrrrrrttttttyyyyyyyyyy ceeeennnnttttssss". OMG, fourty dollars? No, fourty cents? WHAT? What the hell? Phew. Ok.. Really? Yes, really. **wipes brow**

I look over at Mikey who is looking at me all relieved and all I could think was, "What a bunch of lucky fucks we are!"

December is Flying By

2005-12-07T09:05:00.000-05:00

It is so unbelievable to me how fast time goes by, now-a-days. I mean, when I was little time passed by so slowly.

In two days it's Michael's birthday and as soon as that passed we're in the double digit days and soon enough we'll be waking up to open presents. I'm done with shopping for the kids but I need to get some fleece to make Benny a octopus pillow case. I have exhausted all avenues looking for an octupus pillow so I have decided to make one, myself, by cutting fleece and making a knotted pillow case. Should be fun! LOL Maybe I should make pillows for all three. That's a little gung-ho, though!

It's Holiday Party Time!!

2005-12-02T11:33:00.000-05:00

Oh yeah, Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah..

I am so freakin' excited I can hardly stand it. Tonight a mom's group I belong to is having it's annual holiday party. I am so excited. Did I say that?

I have a nice outfit. I know how I want to do my hair. I bought some Sally Hanson Hair Removal cream (yes I need it). The only thing I need to do is make the Mexichilli and get ready.

Oh yeah, Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah..

The Ant Graveyard

2005-11-29T23:22:00.000-05:00

One of the most annoying things about living here is that we have ants that come in and scavenge the kitchen countertops for food. And, not only do they do this and force us to bag and twist-tie everything that they can get into but they also get in the back bathroom (the one in our bedroom). It's absolutely crazy.

The most baffling phenomenon is "The Ant Graveyard" that has developed in the hall bathroom (the kids' bathroom). You can go in there, at any given time, and see the carcasses of dozens of ants. Even more baffling is the one or two ants that roam around, aimlessly, picking up their dead friends' bodies. Ant God only knows where and what they do with the empty shells of what they used to be?

Yeah. Ants. They are the suck.
Yeah. Ant Graveyard. It's just a little freaky.

Some Famous Dedo Quotes

2005-11-28T16:58:00.000-05:00

One time Dedo Mite was telling Michael and I about his coworkers (he was a mechanic for big trucks) and how they would eat lunch and belch. He said it was so disgusting and he hated it so one day he let a big assed fart rip.

Some guy said, "Hey Mike, that's gross!"

Dedo Mite retorted, in only a way he can retort, "Eh, some people dey burp in da mouth en some people dey burp in da ass. I burp in da ass."

Michael and I lost it!! To this day we use this quote. Long live burping in the mouth...and the ass!!

After we were married Baba and Dedo kept my bridal announcement on their fridge.

One day I was over and Dedo and I were at the fridge and I said, "Look at that nice bride!"

Dedo put his arm around me, squeezed, pointed at the picture and said, "Purty gurl, purty picka!" I busted a gut laughing and he walked away red-faced.

The big deal is that the word "picka" is pronounced "peachka" and it means "pussy". See?

More famous Dedo quotes:

" Hey Big Boy "
" Is my medicine " (referring to his moonshine)
" Shuddup Milevo! "